Vomiting and dehydration in children - my experience

This was not the first stomach bug to hit our family, and not the first time one of our children got worryingly ill. We have some experience. Every time though, there’s always that moment when you are uncertain about what to do, and you turn to consult external sources. Like many other parents do when they are worried about their children, we use the internet, however we are also fortunate enough to be surrounded by a well-educated support network, including some medical doctors.

As most of you are aware, the biggest concern when it comes to a stomach bug is dehydration, and severe dehydration is very dangerous. Our focus, therefore, was on determining how dehydrated our child was, and at which point we would need to seek medical treatment (intravenous fluids).

Please note, as any website will tell you: if you are not sure about how dehydrated your child is, you should contact your doctor.

Yes, I am using a double moral here. Because, 1/ we did speak to at least one medical doctor friend, and 2/ the hospital here will almost ALWAYS use maximum intervention, in my (limited) experience. I knew that if we came into the ER with a sick child, even if his dehydration was only modest, it would be treated with an IV, overnight hospital stay, blood tests, and other invasive methods that would brutally bother our already miserable child. So I wanted to make *really* sure I wasn’t overreacting.

Most articles or websites on dehydration in children will give you a list of things (most of the below are from one of my books by my favorite pediatrician, Dr. Sears) to look for, such as:

• Dry or sticky mouth, chapped lips.
• Dry, cool skin.
• Few or no tears when crying.
• Eyes that look sunken into the head.
• Lack of urine for 8-12 hours in an older child (or only a very small amount of dark yellow urine)/ Urinating about half as often as usual, urine concentrated like apple juice.
• Fatigue or dizziness in an older child, less active and playful, but will make eye contact and respond to you.

I found this other really great article however, that gave us some more concrete ways to determine the extent of our son’s dehydration:

• Prolonged capillary refill time of more than two seconds.
• Abnormal skin turgor.
• Abnormal respiratory pattern.

You can look these up if you don’t know exactly what they are, but it’s pretty straight forward. By going through these lists and checks, we were able to determine that indeed, our child showed signs of dehydration, but at worst only moderate. The article helped us not rush to the ER at this point, since, 

“Oral rehydration therapy is the preferred treatment of mild to moderate dehydration caused by diarrhea in children. Appropriate oral rehydration therapy is as effective as intravenous fluid in managing fluid and electrolyte losses and has many advantages.”

We got some Pedialyte, and we knew that as long as our son was drinking water and not having any diarrhea, even though he seemed to vomit up the water as soon as he drank it, he was getting enough fluids to stay, “mildly to moderately dehydrated.”

Again, please note: We are lucky enough to live in a community surrounded by doctors, and the ER is just a few minutes away, practically free, which is why we felt safe to make a close call like this in this situation. If you are in a different situation, you may want to play it safe!

What would you do in a situation like this? What do you usually do when you are worried about a child’s health?

Warning: This post is about broken fingers, vomit and diarrhea - not for the faint of heart

It is 10 o’clock in the morning, and it’s… Wednesday, I think. The past week and a half has just gone by – disappeared.

The Kant scholar left for a well needed conference, the International Kant Congress in Vienna, last Sunday morning, and almost immediately, thing started happening.

I thought I had invested well in an active day so that the evening would go smoothly. We had a long swim in the sea, a good late lunch, and then the boys went to the movies (Scorch trials, something: a law movie, I thought at first, how educating! But I think I would have been disappointed in that regard…).

That very evening though, the boys were rough-housing before bed (not unusual) and I had just settled down with a glass of Rioja, thinking I might actually be able to manage an entire week with four active boys, when the 12 year old came crying, hand held high. The 13 year old had kicked his hand and hit his right index finger in such a way that it was most possibly broken. Oh, Lord. It was almost 11 pm, already late for the boys to be up, and worse, the toddler was still awake, barely. But there it was. I grabbed the phone and called my friend and neighbor on the off-chance that she was still up, to see if she could be “on call,” in case the 13 year old needed an adult while I was in the ER with the 12 year old. Luckily, she was on her way home from a dinner, and as we started walking up the hill to the ER, she drove into the parking lot. In fact, she ended up taking some reading to our apartment, and spent most of the time we were away right there in the living room.

In the ER, the 12 year old’s finger was X-rayed and confirmed broken, however it did not require surgery or resetting, luckily, but just a splint. We were home by 1:30 am. The toddler and 6 year old had fallen asleep while the 13 year old read to them, fairly quickly, but the 13 year old was still awake, worried.

Most of Monday was lost, as everyone was really tired, and the 12 year old was in a lot of pain. Tuesday, Wednesday we were playing catch up. The 12 year old was having trouble getting his schoolwork done with his dominant hand out for the count.

By Wednesday evening, both the toddler and the 6 year old came down with bad colds, and Thursday was spent trying to get through that, while finishing some work. In the evening, the toddler started throwing up, and Friday and Saturday were lost to buckets, laundry, bleach, rocking and nursing. In the evening, thankfully, as the toddler was feeling much better, my husband came home – exhausted after an intense Kant week, but well.

But wait, this wasn’t the end of our miserable week.

On Sunday morning I went out for a walk around town, all by myself, alone – sweet, lovely solitude! I had some lunch, and a bit of retail therapy. I say “a bit,” because since we are always nearly broke; there’s no room to splurge. I bought some eye shadow for $3 on sale at H&M, and some pajamas for the little ones at the surplus store. This may not sound very exciting, but after a couple of hours, it was enough for me to have regained some sanity, and I headed home.

At home, I was greeted by a vomiting 12 year old. As I made dinner that evening, I started feeling sick, as did the 6 year old, and soon, the two of us were decked out in the bathroom, throwing up. A rough night ensued. I would run to the bathroom, get sick (sickness was pouring out from all ends at this point) and then crawl back into bed, and the toddler would want me to nurse him back to sleep. Rinse, and repeat.

The toddler, now perfectly healthy,
dining alone,
after having made everyone else sick

By morning I felt better, but physically drained. It took most of Monday and a very long nap for me to get back on my feet. The house was a wreck though, and I had to somehow restore the order. The 12 year old was still sick, but was not serial vomiting. The 6 year old however, just kept throwing up. As soon as he put anything in his tummy, even just a few teaspoons of water, it would come right back up. By evening, we were getting worried. If he kept throwing up overnight, we would have to take him to the hospital in the morning.

This is when my husband started vomiting and other unpleasant things that come with a stomach bug. Could this get any worse?

Late at night, after everyone had emptied their stomach contents in more ways than you want to know, and had settled down for a night full of bathroom visits, I broke out the Clorox and went crazy: I declared war on bacteria!

In my experience, kids usually start getting better a few hours after you decide to take them to the hospital. Sounds silly? It turned out to be true in this case as well. The 6 year old slept all night, and in the morning, he started retaining some water. By lunch, he was able to keep some yogurt down, and in the evening, he even had some dinner. This morning, he looks much better.

Is it over yet?

Part time working mothers

An ad for a real estate company in Washington caused people across the US to speak out against its representation of working moms.

As you can see, it depicts a woman in a chaotic situation surrounded by three kids on one side, and two business ready men in a neat office on the other. The ad is suggesting that you can't be a part time working mother AND a dedicated professional at the same time. Although the company has taken the ad down and apologized officially, the ad still stirs up emotion,

Not only does it make me mad because there are millions of women out there who are mothers AND professionals. And lets not forget about the working dads,

Worse though, the ad made me feel guilty. Sometimes the circumstances under which I work are even more chaotic than in the picture, and I fear that it affects the quality of my work. Maybe I can't do both? Maybe it's not possible?

Staying focused while facing one distraction after another

One issue often discussed among homeschoolers is that of routine and schedules. Having a program – a curriculum, goals – and a plan for how you are going to reach these goals, is pretty much necessary, unless you are completely unschooling. However, while it is true that a structured regularity might make homeschooling easier, it is futile to think that you can maintain a strict schedule like a public or private school. If you homeschool in your home with a regular family, things are going to come up, planned and unplanned incidents, or sometimes illness, that will disrupt your schoolwork. The best way to deal with this is to embrace the distractions and learn to work around or with them while staying focused.

This our first week of school was extra challenging in this regard, as it was filled with a few scheduled (dentist visits across town and first week of teaching for my philosophy husband) and several unplanned events. I got sick over the weekend and was out of commission until Monday afternoon. We had a major plumbing problem in the bathrooms with raw sewage leakage (which had to be cleaned up once it was fixed). Then the sandstorm hit Lebanon, which you might not think would have much impact on homeschool activities, but we ended up housing or hosting a dust storm play date for the afternoon, with kids of all ages filling up the house. Last night, William went to bed with a stomach ache, and today he has been very sick.

One more day left of this week, Friday. What might happen tomorrow?

Sand storm in Lebanon

There’s a sand storm in Lebanon, and according to the news, it’s so bad that people are being hospitalized or even dying. Here in Beirut there’s sand but not a storm per se, since there’s no wind. It’s more like a sand fog. The air is filled with dust, and the heat is concentrated within, making outside venturing very unpleasant, at best. Yesterday, my weather forecast told me it was “96 degrees, Feels Like 131.” I thought, “No way!” until I went outside (I had to go get a book for August) – I have lived in the Middle East for years now, and Egypt was pretty hot at times, but this was one of the hottest days I’ve ever experienced. By the time I got to upper campus I was soaked in sweat.

When we went to the store, Abraham pointed to the sky and asked, “Is that the moon or the sun?” When we looked up we saw this (see picture). That is usually a big bright sky, but today, we could look straight at the sun and it looked tinyS. Awful.

Today all the schools, universities and public offices are closed, many private ones too, I imagine. Our boys are still doing their school work though, of course. No rest for the homeschooled!

Exploring online education

The entire family – or at least those in the family who are above the age of 12 – started taking classes this summer over at edx.org. You can take a course for free and sometimes you get some sort of certificate of completion, or you can pay money and earn actual college credit. There are all kinds of courses offered by different universities from all over the world. I started taking a grammar course with our 13 year old mainly to get an idea of how it works and to be able to bug him about assignment deadlines and find out what he is learning. It is offered by the University of Queensland and is pretty good so far. The accents are cute! Prof. Husband is taking an astronomy class, and both boys are taking a course on super heroes (historical). Later this month they will start an AP physics course. We used to use Khan Academy quite a bit, and the boys went through the geometry program there, but we haven’t looked at it for a while. There are so many good educational sites, and so many great things to learn out there! Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed.

Where have I been?!

I have been determined for a while now to start writing again, and you have no idea how good it feels to put these words on paper!

At the end of last semester I started being able to get some more computer time for myself without the continuous interruption of the toddler. However, I then had to spend all my newfound computer time working over the summer. You see, my dear philosopher husband got accepted to no less than three conferences over the summer, and his employer only pays for (most of) one. Since we are already in a financial pickle most of the year (assistant professors in the humanities here do not make enough to support a foreign family of 6!) I had to step in.

As you can imagine, I’ve had more exciting summers. When I didn’t work, or attempted to work with a demanding toddler by my side, I took care of the house, kept a low key summer school going with the boys, and in general tried not to spend any money. We went to the beach quite a bit, for an hour or so almost every day; my little slice of paradise just a couple of minutes’ walk from our house. We also figured out how to make really awesome bagels, something that is difficult to find here, which was detrimental to my weight, but provided some diversion.

In sum, my summer consisted of three fairly dull but financially necessary months.

Though. One noteworthy accomplishment in our household this summer was the potty training of young master Max. Although he only just turned two right before summer, he started using the potty quite successfully at his own initiative, and was, within only a couple of weeks, fully potty trained. No more diapers here! Not even at night. I can hardly believe it. We’ve been a great sponsor of Pampers and Huggies for well over a decade now, and suddenly, it’s over. Just like that. It feels great, a tiny little bit sad (our last baby!), but mostly awesome. I am still waiting for my medal from the president or something like that. Don’t they give mothers of four boys awards after four successful potty trainings? If not, then they certainly should!

Our summer officially ended last week with our back to full school, and I finished my last job for a little while on Thursday. It is still summer weather here, of course, and we will keep going to the beach until it closes at the end of this month, but the rhythm has changed, and I am turning my attention to the boys – and myself – for a while. So here; to a new academic year! May yours be as prosperous and wonderful as you hope, and may all our notebooks be filled with exciting knowledge, adventures, and insights!

Back to school!

Celebrating our back to full school (we school year around but lighten up a bit during parts of the summer) with a morning at the beach!

Did I mention that I love living by the Mediterranean Sea?

Garbage in the streets of Beirut

Hamra, Beirut - Lebanon

One block from Hamra street

It appears we have a bit of a garbage crisis on our hands...

Summer at AUB

Busted!

In the springtime, the only pretty ringtime

Busy, busy spring.

First of all, spring in our family means BIRTHDAYS. All but one in the family was born in the spring, or around that time. My little boy turned six, the philosopher turned 30 something, the littlest one turned two years old, I turned -something- and my big sweet boy turned 12. The only birthday we have left this year is in the fall, when 13 will become 14.

Easter this year entailed quite a few parties, dinners, Easter egg hunts and random socializing.

The 12 year old had an accident and spent a night in the hospital. It was scary and annoying. Scary because injuries to the neck can be very serious; annoying because it turned out to be a very light injury and 24 hours in a hospital is quite an ordeal for a family of six who doesn't have any family close by who can step in and help. It took a lot of energy and effort, and quite some time to recover.

What happened? We were in the swimming pool, and he dove into the water head first with such a momentum that he hit the top of his head on the bottom of the pool hard enough to push his head down and fracture his neck. It's a compression fracture. His jaw and shoulders hurt, and his scalp was bleeding. I ran home, put clothes on and rushed him to the ER. They X-rayed his neck and did an MRI. He had to wear a neck brace and spend the night in the hospital, monitored by a neurosurgeon. He was lucky to get away with only two weeks of rest, no sports or strenuous activity.

My oldest son had a freak accident as well, the day before his piano recital. He was helping a younger child get a ball out of a tree, when a branch pierced a vein on his hand. Blood squirted out in a pulse like movement, By the third squirt I had a clean diaper out and put pressure on his hand, holding it up. It took a good solid 10 minutes to get the bleeding to stop completely. Freaky. I'm glad I was there with my purse, which contains diapers, wipes, Neosporin, band aids and bandages, etc.

The piano recital still went well, despite his hand being sore.

It's hard to walk along the water without snapping a picture...

I just love living by the Mediterranean Sea. No matter how many things are on my mind, its beauty always stops me in my tracks and makes me smile. And get my camera out. Again.

Sunset walk selfie

Homeschool testing

As a homeschooling parent you sometimes wonder how your child is doing compared to other kids. Also, as I have previously mentioned, there will come a time when they will be taking standardized tests, such as the SAT or AP exams, and we want to make sure that the boys are on track and ready.

For this purpose we printed out some old AMC 8 tests and let the boys take them. Timed exactly, just like the real deal. They did pretty poorly on the first one, but after a couple of days of practice, they managed to reach scores as high as 18. Not bad!

Beautiful Beirut

As hard as it can be to live in this part of the world sometimes, it truly is one of the most beautiful places in the world!

Beirut, during the build up of a storm, some sun

AP test prep

How horrible on a scale from 1-10 is it that I have read and started using AP test preparation literature in our history, English, Math and Sciences curricula? I’m using them, in the sense that I am making sure whatever we are studying includes details the tests might inquire about, and in the sense that I make sure our studies include topics the tests might include. 

Why? 

1/Because I know our kids will have to take these tests and do well, and 

2/because I didn't grow up in the US educational system, and frankly have very little knowledge about what they teach over there, or expect the children to know. For example, comparing my world history education to that of my husband’s (who did go to school in the US), I know the boys are at an advantage, but I’m not sure about the other subjects. 

I know what my husband & I want our boys to know (and we do have pretty high standards, as far as I understand), but do these requirements measure/line up with those of the AP exam? Will all the knowledge and skills we are providing them with be sufficient or even of the right kind?

There’s only one way to make sure, right?

A blessing in disguise...

A blessing in disguise is when your nap-refusing toddler falls off the couch and gets hurt, requests to nurse and falls asleep while calming down. Right?

Mommy reboot

We spent our Valentine’s Day weekend in Faraya, Mzaar, staying with our neighbors in their chalet. The snow was amazing, the weather fine, and the kids cooperative. Our two older boys have only skied a couple of times before, and the philosopher doesn't ski at all. I used to ski quite a bit when we lived in Europe and before I met my husband, but it has been many years since I really skied. On Saturday I stayed on the baby slope with the boys, instructing them, teaching them techniques, how to turn, stop, slow down, and speed up. One of the boys was a natural, the other one scared and insecure. I didn't take the five year old up, since I thought it would be too difficult to manage all of them on the slope - our neighbor’s full time nanny watched the toddler and the five year old while we went skiing. They know and like her, and together, they had a good time. I was still nervous about leaving the toddler for so long though, since we don’t usually do this. As it turned out, everything was great. On the second day, the nanny took care of the younger boys again, and I took the older boys up. After a couple of runs on the baby slope, we went further up to a blue slope. The natural managed great, however the scared and insecure boy lost control, sped down the slope way too fast, and fell, twisting his knee. Lots of drama, crying big tears, and some pain, but as it turned out, mainly fear. After a soda on the terrace, he was ready to try again, on the baby slope. I was very proud of him for getting back on the skies, but I could tell that he was so scared he barely enjoyed the experience any more. I did my best to encourage him, and in the end, he seemed satisfied. Not very enthusiastic - like the natural, who’s already begging me to take him back up skiing soon - but happy. The toddler had a great morning with the nanny and my friend, and towards the end of the morning – two boys happily playing with people I trust, one boy sipping soda on the terrace, the other boy skiing on the baby slope, confidently going up the lift by himself - I felt like I had an opportunity to take a moment and enjoy myself, just me, so I took the big lift to the top, and skied all the way down through a series of blue and red slopes.

It was absolutely fantastic. I rarely ever even get to go to the bathroom by myself, let alone do things I enjoy, so this was a real treat – a once in several years kind of pleasure, and boy did I enjoy it. I took my time, swooping back and forth slowly down the perfect slopes, relishing every turn through the powder snow, stopping a few times to take in the view and the moment. Alone, healthy and strong. Nobody there asking me to nurse, help with math, make lunch, proofread an article; no laundry, dishes, messes – just me, my skis and the snow, a beautiful blue sky, fresh crisp air, and a few moments to myself. It was awesome, almost like a mother reboot. I came down refreshed and stronger, ready for a new week of homeschooling, work, laundry dishes, cooking, trying to reason with a toddler… You know. All those things. What’s your reboot?

Your list, your time

I like the idea of maintaining a blog, because I enjoy writing, and I know that at least in the past what I had to say was always of interest to someone. But for a long time, I have not been able to write or post anything. Since our toddler was born almost two years ago, we've lived in three places on two different continents, which indeed does provide plenty of blogging material, yet, I have not been able to make any time or get my inspiration back. None. Between homeschooling with four boys, working, and taking care of our home, wherever it may be, I just haven't had a lot of time left for myself, let alone creative thought or work. 

My time is often continuously interrupted by someone needing something, hence I find that when I do sit down with the intention to write, my mind is all over the place, and I end up just browsing the news, checking Facebook or watching  a John Oliver YouTube clip.

We have been back in Lebanon almost half a year now, and I finally feel like I’m starting to regain some control of my life. Instead of triaging one crisis after another, or responding to situations, I am catching up, if ever so slightly. Yes, really, I can prove it. 

Exhibit A: This blog! 

Exhibit B: Evernote - lists of things/articles/pictures that inspire me, things I need to do, need to find, want to get done, plan, read, and think about: upcoming events, visits, social events, creating a comfortable living space, working space, projects, meal planning, you name it. I have started looking at these lists, and have even been able to mark some things off by picking out one thing every day that I can get done, or at least think about. Slow and steady. On top of our very busy regular schedule today, I cleaned out my closet, went running and wrote this blog post.

What’s on your list?

Grocery shopping in Beirut

Shopping here in Beirut is not like shopping in, say, Atlanta. In Atlanta, I would decide on a recipe, go to the store I knew carried the ingredients I would need, come home and cook. The End. Very easy, all cravings met, meal plans facilitated.

Here, it’s a little different. Here in Beirut I can decide on a meal, write down the ingredients, and if I’m lucky, I only have to clear one entire morning to go – what we have come to call it – hunting & gathering. Most often though, despite my efforts, there are always going to be ingredients missing. Sometimes you just can’t find avocados anywhere, or lemongrass, or nori. Once I searched for sour cream for weeks. You learn to either change your mind about what to make, or you substitute. Instead of rice vinegar you use white vinegar, or if you’re making vegetable dip, lebnah will work instead of sour cream.

Last week we were all set on making sushi at home. I went to three different stores to buy nori– my first picks for this kind of thing – and they were all out. Not a single sheet of seaweed anywhere. In the evening a friend mentioned that she had been looking for nori as well, and someone else said that they had seen some at Idriss. The next morning I ran over there, and bought both packs. Yes, there were only two packs left, and yes, I bought them both. This is something you learn as well, to survive in the expat jungle – if you see something you like, something you know runs out from time to time, you buy it all! Stock up!

Kick back parenting - four is less

I recently read a study based on interviews with parents, that concluded that having one or two children is more stressful than having four. Not because there’s less work, but because the parents of more than three children who participated in the study were more relaxed about their current situation. It turns out, that when you only have two children, you try to do *it all*, however once you are outnumbered as parents, you basically throw in the towel. You decide that you just can’t do it all – you admit that you can’t control everything; family, home, work, social life – and when you stop trying to do and be *everything*, you relax. Your life becomes less stressful.

[Or maybe these people are so exhausted, they don’t even have the energy to stress anymore.]

Let us note for the record here that less stressful and more relaxed doesn't mean quitting your job, pouring yourself a cosmopolitan and watching your kids tear down the house. It just means that you learn to prioritize (occasionally, a cosmopolitan will be a top priority though) and stop worrying so much. You still try and work hard, but your efforts become more… focused.

This is me. A little more relaxed, hard-working and confident. I do a lot of things, but I've become better over these past years at doing what I think is important, and what matters to me and my family. I'm more effective and focused.

Most of the time, anyways. Today I think we as a family managed both to be productive AND tear down the house.

No time for fancies

You know you are a homeschooling parent of four boys, when this is your foreplay:

[Door slams shut in the hallway, older kids are taking younger kids to the playground]

"Honey, let's go!"
"Wha...?" [holds up head and listens] "All right! Yeah, let's go!"

Welcome to Kant & Kids!

You don't know what you're doing here. I'm not sure what I'm doing here. Really, what is this?

Let me introduce myself: I am a homeschooling mother of four boys (Kids!), and a wife of a philosopher (Kant!).

If you too have four boys, homeschool, and are married to a philosopher, you just let out a sigh and muttered a few words of recognition and comfort.

If you don't, then... well, get ready to live that life vicariously.

Apart from the Kant & Kids, I am also a part time working editor and translator with two master's degrees and a half finished doctorate, an educator, a world traveler who speaks five languages fluently, an artist, a reader, a writer, and a runner. To top it off, I have lived over half my life abroad, and we are currently in the Middle East - Lebanon, to be more precise.

You see, it's not just Kant & Kids. Lately though, these two aspects have taken over my life quite excessively, which means some of the other properties, and especially writing, have had to go on the back burner.

I don't mind. Experience tells me that there will be time, eventually, to finish my novel or even a book series, and although I will never finish that doctorate, there are so many other things left that I want to learn, see, create, and do! But really [cliche alert!], the kids are only children once and will grow up so quickly - I am not going to miss out on that, AND my husband's career is at a crucial point, in more than one sense. So, without entirely losing myself, I currently focus on the people I love and live with.

In the meantime though, I'm going to use this blog as a creative outlet, for venting, inventing, complaining, sharing, and anything else that bloggers do in their blogs (I'm still figuring it out).

Ready?