O light, return to me!

Lately, this motivational phrase has been running through my head every morning when I wake up, "March. Spring. Not much longer, now. I can do it."

I’ve never been a person to get the blues, and I usually live my life enjoying the moment, cherishing each day and what it brings. Although I’m not particularly unhappy at the moment, this year, I’m really looking forward to the summer.

I feel like I’ve been running on fumes since September last year. The past fall and winter appear as a never ending stream of weekdays, where morning fatigue never quite went away until I’d drop down exhausted at the end of the day. Week after week went by and ended in uneventful weekends around the house, because things needed done, or someone was sick, or I just wanted to sleep. I feel like I spent more time watching Netflix than hanging out with friends. Dinners and parties required more energy than I had; even mundane every day things seemed daunting. I can count the days on one hand where I feel like I actually accomplished something.

The darker months have an impact on mood and energy, but it seems like this winter was longer than usual, even though it wasn’t very cold or rainy. For me, I think the main reason was because I didn’t really have a good summer last year. It was the first summer for as long as I can remember that I didn’t travel anywhere, and although I had several beach moments, I mainly worked. All. Summer. Hence, when fall came around, I didn’t start my descent from that high summer peak, but rather, I started in the valley, without a booster. As darkness and cold descended upon us, I had nothing to hold on to.

Still, I endured, and it’s almost over. Spring is here, with Easter, and soon it will be May, and we will travel. All. Summer. And I will refill my energy pool, and recharge my spirit, and nothing will seem daunting again.